


Bats and Green Spandex

by alamerysl



Series: The Slash Game [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Naruto
Genre: Crack, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, slash game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:15:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alamerysl/pseuds/alamerysl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce Wayne finds himself oddly enchanted by the oddest man he's ever met.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bats and Green Spandex

**Author's Note:**

> I regret everything.

“Such youthful vigour!” A green-clad man with horrendous eyebrows shouts at Batman.

Bruce really regrets interrupting this mugging. Batman’s street cred is going to go way down if the Joker finds out he saved yet another crazy.

“Your mission is so noble! To save the innocent of your village from being harmed by miscreants! Your flames of youth inspire me to do the same! And if I cannot, I will-”

“I. Was. Never. Here.” Batman growls.

The man doesn’t seem to have heard him. “-climb the five tallest buildings of this Gotham blindfolded with one hand!”

Batman escapes into the night with a turn of his dark cape. Alfred is surprised to see him home so early but wisely says nothing.

The next day brings about a very unusual visitor.

The bushy eyebrows man shows up and somehow charms Alfred into making breakfast for him.

“Good morning to you, youthful stranger! Your comrade was kind enough to provide food after my daily morning workout!”

Bruce squints at the shiny smile. He needs coffee. Nothing makes sense before coffee.

Three cups of Alfred’s wonderful brew later, nothing continues to make sense.

This man, Gai as he introduced himself, is either the biggest liar in the world or he really did run around the city five times, climbed three buildings blindfolded with one arm, and did 10,000 pushups before 9 in the morning.

Despite his cautious nature, Bruce finds himself thawing to this ridiculous stranger. Someone so dedicated couldn’t be that bad, right?

Gai somehow cajoles Bruce into working out with him and at the end of the day, Bruce is still standing only due to sheer stubborness. He’s so tired he doesn’t even patrol the streets of Gotham as Batman that night.

Two months later, Bruce is seeing the efforts of Gai’s insane training regime. Why Bruce was even able to pin Clark to the mat the other day!

Two months of pure optimism is hard enough for even a man like Bruce to resist.

And Gai cleans up nicely. Bruce takes him to his discrete tailor and stylist and pretty soon Gai looks like a suave Japanese tourist.

He takes Gai out to dinner because if Gai’s going to make Gotham his home and be seen around Bruce Wayne, he needs to learn how high society operates.

A month later, Gai and Bruce are on the cover of tabloids across the nation.

“Brucie Wayne wines and dines mysterious gentleman!”

“Have I been seducing Gai?” Bruce asks Alfred.

Alfred doesn’t respond but the silence is very pointed.

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.


End file.
